Ice Dragon

Ice dragon
rears into
the soft
of my heart

fanged and
old enemy,
old friend.

How well it
knows me,
finds just the
right place

to divide me.

I turn blue,
live in an igloo,
frozen tears.

Suddenly it
my igloo melts,

I’m thrown into
Summer again.

So much gold
after only blue

I am blinded
and I cannot
how to live
a coat.

I wasn’t sure about the end of this one- I kept fiddling with it. Any feedback on whether the poem breaks up and where that happens would be helpful.

2 thoughts on “Ice Dragon

  1. Liked this one (ice dragon). The direct, seemingly simple, imagery of ice and sun and colours (eg ‘so much gold after only blue’) is nevertheless able to take us into a subtle and intimate inward experience normally not seen from the outside: the igloo where we find you ‘drinking frozen tears’; the ‘soft of my heart’ and ‘just the right place’ – a place normally known only by creatures such as the ice dragon who knows it well. I liked ‘to divide me’ in a stanza of its own. It seems to flag up the dynamic shift in the poem, halfway through, that’s about to happen with ‘suddenly it leaves’. Always good if a poem can have some kind of dynamic shift or twist, i think, partway through. I often try to get the two halves of the poem to be the same length in this situation, to help the symmetry, but that’s possibly me being just a bit OCD. I don’t know if such a device would make the last verse sound more congruent or not. I think the last verse is okay if that’s the image you want.

    • Thank you for the detailed feedback, Arwen. I see the point about a nice symmetry, and it might help the harmony of this poem. Hope to see some more of yours when you feel like sharing/have written them!

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